You booked the night train for a reason
So you could sit there in this hurt.
Bustling crowds or silent sleepers,
You're not sure which is worse.
Because I dropped your hand while dancing,
Left you out there standing
Crestfallen on the landing,
Champagne problems.
Your mom's ring in your pocket,
My picture in your wallet,
Your heart was glass, I dropped it,
Champagne problems.
You told your family for a reason,
You couldn't keep it in.
Your sister splashed out on the bottle,
Now no one's celebrating.
Dom Pérignon, you brought it,
No crowd of friends applauded,
Your hometown skeptics called it
Champagne problems.
You had a speech, you're speechless,
Love slipped beyond your reaches,
And I couldn't give a reason,
Champagne problems.
Your Midas touch on the Chevy door,
November flush and your flannel cure,
"This dorm was once a madhouse!"
I made a joke, "Well, it's made for me!" how
Evergreen, our group of friends,
Don't think we'll say that word again,
And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls
That we once walked through.
One for the money, two for the show,
I never was ready so I watch you go,
Sometimes you just don't know the answer
Til someone's on their knees and asks you.
"She would've made such a lovely bride,
What a shame she's fucked in the head," they said.
But you'll find the real thing instead,
She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred.
And hold your hand while dancing,
Never leave you standing
Crestfallen on the landing
With champagne problems.
Your mom's ring in your pocket.
Her picture in your wallet,
You won't remember all my
Champagne problems.
