Is it October or still September? Is our summer over or we had none and never? Is it Hell on Earth or Heavenly bliss? If everyone is cursed then why are we part of this? I have my nightmares and love them, All the tides I see I stem, Love you so much that even hate. This isolation isn't fair You knock on my door but I'm not there And there is no need to wait. Afraid to love afraid to live Afraid to excuse and to forgive You still make me afraid to fear fear fear and believe Sometimes I'm afraid just because I'm alive Sometimes I'm afraid 'cos my life has an end If all my actions and deeds are in vain I wish I were a dead fish - it can go with the stream No lovely song can cheer me up For me every sound is too much sharp And even closing ears won't help My nightmares scared themselves to death I've got into another mess - I'm just just a spot on a shadow map Love you so much that even hate hate hate hate and hate One of your peers neither your lover nor a mate I've got used to my body I've got used to my soul I've got used to my obsessions - they don't leave me alone But I'm still afraid to look straight thru' the void I still cannot dare because I'm paranoid I just want to break out of my shell and to learn to concentrate I just no longer wanna be anybody's bait