I'm going through changes,
I'm going through changes...
Lately I really feel like
I'm rolling for delf like phillie,
I feel like I'm losing
Control of myself, I sincerely
Apologize if all that I sound like
Is I'm complaining,
But life keeps on complicating,
And I'm debating
On leaving this world this evening,
Even my girls can see I'm grievin',
I try and hide it
But I can't, why do I act like
I'm all high and mighty
When inside I'm dying, I am finally
Realizing I need help,
I can't do it by myself, too weak,
2 weeks I've been
Having ups and downs,
Going through peaks and valleys,
Dilly-dallying around with the idea
Of ending the shit right here.
I'm hatin' my reflection,
I walk around the house
Tryin' to fight mirrors,
I can't stand what I look like yeah,
I look fat, but what do I care?
I give a fuck,
Only thing I fear is Hailie,
I'm afraid if I close my eyes
I might see her, shit..
I'm going through changes,
I'm going through changes...
I lock myself in the bedroom,
Bathroom, nappin' at noon,
Yeah dad's in a bad mood,
He's always snappin' at you.
Marshall what happened at you,
You can't stop with these pills and
You've fallen off with your skills
And your own fans are laughin at you.
It become a problem you're
Too pussy to tackle, get up,
Be a man, stand, a real man woulda
Had this shit handled.
Know you just had your heart
Ripped out and crushed,
They say Proof just flipped out,
Homie just swift out and bust,
Nah, it ain't like doody to do that,
He wouldn't fuckin' shoot at nobody,
He fights first,
But dwellin' on it only
Makes the night worse,
Now I'm poppin vics, perks
And Methadone pills.
"Yeah Em tight verse, you killed it!"
Fuckin' drug dealers
Hang around me like "yes man",
And they gon' do
Whatever I says when I says it,
It's in their best interest
To protect their investment,
And I just lost
My fuckin' best friend,
So fuck it I guess then...
I'm going through changes,
I'm going through changes,
Don't know what I'm going through
But I just keep on
Going through changes...
My friends just can't
Understand this new me,
That's understandable man
But just think how bananas you'd be,
You'd be an animal too
If you were trapped in this fame
And caged in it like a zoo,
And everybody's lookin' at you,
What you want me to do?
I'm startin' to live
Like a recluse and the truth is,
Fame startin' to give me an excuse
To be at a all-time-low.
I sit alone in my home theatre
Watchin' the same damn DVD
Of the first tour, the last tour,
He was still alive,
And it hurt sore, fast forward,
Sleepin' pills'll make me feel
Alright and if I'm still awake
In the middle of the night,
I just take a couple more,
Yeah you're motherfuckin' right,
I ain't slowin' down for no one,
I am almost Homeward bound,
Almost in a coma, yeah homie
Come on, dole 'em out,
'Daddy, don't you die on me,
Daddy, better hold your ground'
Fuck, don't I know
The sound of that voice,
Yeah baby hold me down...
I'm going through changes,
I'm going through changes,
Don't know what I'm going through
But I just keep on
Going through changes...
Wake up in the hospital full of tubes
Plus somehow I'm pullin' through.
Swear when I come back
I'ma be bulletproof,
I'ma do it just for Proof,
I think I should state a few facts,
Cause I may not get a chance again
To say the truth.
Shit it just hit me that what if
I would notta made it through?
I think about the things
I would never got to say to you,
I'd never get to make it right,
So here's what I came to do,
Hailie this one is for you,
Whitney and Alaina too,
I still love your mother,
That'll never change,
Think about her every day,
We just could never get it together
Hey, wish there was a better way
For me to say it
But I swear on everything
I'd do anything for her on any day.
There are just too many things
To explain, when it rains,
Guess it pours, yes it does,
Wish there wasn't any pain
But I can't pretend there ain't,
I ain't placin' any blame,
I ain't pointin' fingers,
Heaven knows
There never been a saint.
I know it just feels like
We just pissed away our history,
But just today
I looked at your picture,
Almost hate to say,
I miss yourself consciously,
Wish it didn't end this way
But I just had to get away,
Don't know why,
I don't know what else to say,
I guess I'm..
I'm going through changes,
I'm going through changes,
Don't know what I'm going through
But I just keep on
Going through changes...
